As the pinpoints of light form
magnificent webs along the midnight horizon and tickle the opaque ground, I
lean toward my window and watch America run away from me. Listening to music
that resembles classic Chinese, I cherish my reveries and reminisce over my
life. A cotton ball blanket warms the scene and blurs the pinpoints to a
collage of beautiful auras and are a wonder to behold. The scene playing below
my screen is an inspiring one, and so prods my mind to embrace its ironic
symbolism and compare it to my life itself.
The web of lights that portray
the complex civilization Americans live in depicts the complex working of my
inner heart. Roads reflect threads that shine to meet my eyes and intricately
intertwine neighborhoods and homes. They connect one complexity to the next.
They may not be easy to travel or quick to arrive, but they deliver many to
their desired destinations. Like the airplane I now sit in, they not only
change destinations, but destinies.
If you know me, it’s not
surprising to you the movie I chose to watch on my in-flight monitor is The
Lion King. As lions, gazelles, hyenas and tropical savannah plant life flash in
front of my face, I reconsider my MK (missionary kid) life. The best and worst
part of being in such a life story is the hellos and the goodbyes that bring
more hellos. Simba knew this and he is now experiencing the results of such a
drastic change in lifestyle and surroundings. He goes from pride life to lone
man with the guys. All he ever knew was turned upside down and his world
flipped. This eventually leaves him unsure of who he is and what he is about,
like it MKs like me. “You are the one who is confused! You don’t even know who
you are!” Old Rafikki’s words resound in my heart.
The advice given Simba can
apply to my heart as well. My very soul struggles with where I belong, who I am
and what I am to be. Have I forgotten my Father? Is that why I have forgotten
who I am? Or did I just lose myself along the way? But Mufasa says, “You are
more than what you have become.” I still don’t get it, God. You definitely have
a plan, You said so. But I just can’t understand Your superior logic.
Dismayed by these thoughts, I
shift my head towards the ever shifting window view. The complexity of the
light show is over. It was turned to a hazy navy blue with only the beacons on
the wing to break the wonderful mesh of cotton clouds and soothing sky. The
simplicity of the scene beckons me to rest on the confession that he knows
better than I ever will or ever have to. The very thought that unnerved me just
moments ago brings peace to my mind. He knows. I can forget all the memories in
the world, if I only remember one thing—I am His, that’s who I am, and He knows
me and my future. He knows. Amen. And one day, He’ll show me His world. And
then we’ll never have to change again.
