The web of lights that portray the complex civilization Americans live in depicts the complex working of my inner heart. Roads reflect threads that shine to meet my eyes and intricately intertwine neighborhoods and homes. They connect one complexity to the next. They may not be easy to travel or quick to arrive, but they deliver many to their desired destinations. Like the airplane I now sit in, they not only change destinations, but destinies.
If you know me, it’s not surprising to you the movie I chose to watch on my in-flight monitor is The Lion King. As lions, gazelles, hyenas and tropical savannah plant life flash in front of my face, I reconsider my MK (missionary kid) life. The best and worst part of being in such a life story is the hellos and the goodbyes that bring more hellos. Simba knew this and he is now experiencing the results of such a drastic change in lifestyle and surroundings. He goes from pride life to lone man with the guys. All he ever knew was turned upside down and his world flipped. This eventually leaves him unsure of who he is and what he is about, like it MKs like me. “You are the one who is confused! You don’t even know who you are!” Old Rafikki’s words resound in my heart.
The advice given Simba can apply to my heart as well. My very soul struggles with where I belong, who I am and what I am to be. Have I forgotten my Father? Is that why I have forgotten who I am? Or did I just lose myself along the way? But Mufasa says, “You are more than what you have become.” I still don’t get it, God. You definitely have a plan, You said so. But I just can’t understand Your superior logic.
Dismayed by these thoughts, I shift my head towards the ever shifting window view. The complexity of the light show is over. It was turned to a hazy navy blue with only the beacons on the wing to break the wonderful mesh of cotton clouds and soothing sky. The simplicity of the scene beckons me to rest on the confession that he knows better than I ever will or ever have to. The very thought that unnerved me just moments ago brings peace to my mind. He knows. I can forget all the memories in the world, if I only remember one thing—I am His, that’s who I am, and He knows me and my future. He knows. Amen. And one day, He’ll show me His world. And then we’ll never have to change again.