"Every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other. ... No[t any longer] can I look into the depths of this unfathomable water, wherein as momentary lights glanced into it, I have had glimpse of buried treasure and other things submerged. It was appointed that the book should shut with a spring, forever and ever, when I had read but a page. It was appointed that the water should be locked in eternal frost, when the light was playing on its surface, and I stood in ignorance on the shore." --Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
I know, I not only am the water, but also the one on the shore. I wish I could understand the things submerged forever, and yet I don't wish to let mine be uncovered, either. I live both in the frozen lake, and yet on the icy shore of another. And I wish for the spring, yet hate the sun. A living contradiction, I fear the change I long for.